TAMMY WRITES LIFE

The 10 things I have stopped doing in my life... I have stopped listening to gossip and gossiping about others I have stopped worrying about what other people think of me I have stopped worrying about things that have not yet happened I have stopped dwelling in the past and torturing myself with the could have, should have, would have scenarios and accept that the past is gone and cant be changed. I have stopped asking others for their advice and opinions and rely upon myself and my own abilities to make the best decisions for me I have stopped apologising for being myself and have accepted that I am who I am I have stopped wallowing in self pity when things dont go my way I have stopped relying upon others to help me in the hard times and I can rely upon myself I have stopped doing anything that I dont want to do or need to do I have stopped caring about whether others like me or not as I like me and that's all that matters

The only way you can get over something that has caused you pain and hurt you is by processing it and coming to terms with it so you can move on whether you do this yourself or with the help of a professional. Sadly there is not a fast forward button to press in life that will take you past it all but you will move forward from it faster if you face it head on and deal with it. Many people make the mistake of trying to avoid dealing with it and think that if they put it out of their mind or distract themselves for long enough then it will go away but it wont and unless you resolve your feelings and emotions attached to it then it will never go away and will keep bubbling up inside you until it is resolved and this can cause detriment to your mental and physical wellbeing. You have already survived it and so to process it in a safe place in order to heal from it is not going to harm you and although you may feel uncomfortable at times to revisit it, you have to face it and process i...

The only person who you can ever really rely upon in life is yourself and when you know that you have to rely upon yourself to get things done then you will realise that self pity, a victim mentality and a ‘why me' or ‘its not fair' attitude is not going to change your circumstances or make you feel better about things, in fact it will stop you from doing something to make your life better and will probably make you feel bitter and resentful and stuck in a rut. You have no control over the poor behaviour of others and you are not responsible for their poor behaviour and you are certainly not to blame for it so you have to look at it as shame on them and not shame on you and rise above it and take responsibility for yourself and your own life to move forward from it without letting it have a detrimental effect on you and your self worth or change the way that you treat people and yourself. You are responsible for the way you conduct yourself and no matter what happens you ...

Firstly you have to accept yourself as you are for good and bad as you are who you are and you should never apologise for that or try to change for others just to be accepted and fit in and you should certainly never dislike parts of yourself. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses and you have to learn to love them all in the same way as you are unique and there are reasons why you are the way you are. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to try new things is a good way to enhance your self esteem and confidence in yourself and your own abilities.  Doing one small thing a day to help you grow, learn and develop means that in a year you will have accomplished at the very least 365 different things that will have changed you for the better and increased your self esteem and worth. Taking responsibility for your own actions, decisions and the consequences that they bring also will make you feel more confident in yourself as you will know that...

  How can you live a happy life without stress? You have to accept life on lifes terms and have faith in your own abilities to be able to deal with the challenges you have that are in your control by realising that life throws nothing at you that you are not fully equipped to deal with and not worry about the things that you have no control over. Everything passes in time and nothing ever stays the same so accept that all you have is the present moment and in that moment if you are not thinking about the past or projecting into the future then in the here and now you are ok so enjoy the present moment as all is well in this place at that very moment. There is always a positive and a negative in all circumstances that arise even if you initially see only the negatives so look for the positives and you will see them. You should not waste time stressing about events in the past as the past is gone and it cant be changed and you should not waste ti...

As we go through life we must hear a million times or more from others that we are this person or that person or we should be this way or that way. From teachers, parents, friends and even those who barely know us, they all have an opinion to give about the person they think we are and the person they want us to be! Sadly its human nature to want to label others and to put everyone in a box or category but a wise human being like you is aware that you cannot be defined in one way as we are all very unique and complex individuals and we cannot be compared.  However if you try to fight everyone who tries to define you as one thing or another or tell you what you should be you will become exhausted and you even may act out of character in the opposite extreme to make your point that they are not getting you which may come across as insincere and not a true reflection of who you are and likely to make them reinforce that they have the right opinion of you as they w...

Responsibility  is an important  value  to teach because no one can succeed in life if they are not  responsible . ... Without  responsibility , they will leave things undone and get in trouble. Many people believe that by taking responsibility and sorting out the issues on behalf of the people who they care about is their duty if they are in a position to do so and if they are able to sort out everything they can for this person without having to let it impact them or even cause a ripple in that person's life then they will have done right by them. 'Guilty'!!! Being the eldest of four siblings, this is something that I have done regularly over the years and I still find it hard to back off at times even to this day despite my siblings all being in their forties now! The need to take responsibility for others comes from a place of caring and wanting to make it easier for others so the motives for this are often sincere (if not a little cont...

I am pleased to say that I have been provided with my own space on Quora for 'Tammy Writes Life' publications and debates which is open to all for asking questions or comments; Please feel free to use the space to ask questions and address issues that are important to you by clicking on the link below.. https://www.quora.com/q/jnbuktjdhlsvkmlf?ch=10&share=af4cabbe&srid=uFolO Quora is a question-and-answer website where questions are asked, answered, edited and organized by its community of users. The company was founded in June 2009, and the website was made available to the public on June 21, 2010. Quora aggregates questions and answers to topics. Users can collaborate by editing questions and suggesting edits to other users’ answers

Self talk! Inner dialogue! Internal speech! Voice in your head! Inner monologue!  Whatever you choose to call it, we all have this voice going on inside our head every single second of our lives but despite this constant inner dialogue many of us are not really aware of it consciously or do we actually take the time to even listen properly to how we self talk!   We just accept what we are saying to ourselves and just go with it without ever considering to question it or to assess whether it is doing us more harm than good! Quite often than not we are our own worst enemies!  We have the self awareness on occasions to recognize that if we spend too much time with negative people then it has a negative effect on us and our mood and so we decide to distance ourselves from them but we rarely listen to what we are saying to ourselves!  Sadly most of us are our biggest critics and the ones who are the most unkind to us. You make a mis...

When you set personal boundaries these must be in areas that you have total conviction and believe in because they are important to you and at the very centre of your core values upon which you live your life. Therefore they need to be strong and apply to everyone who you allow into your life and things that you are not prepared to compromise on. For example if you value honesty then you will set a personal boundary that you will not accept being lied to by another and the consequences for them doing so is that you will cut them out of your life. To feel confident about setting personal boundaries you must ensure that these things really matter to you, know why they matter to you and be clear about what the consequences are should these boundaries be crossed. Lastly for you to set boundaries that you expect to be honoured then you will have to be able to respect and honour these things in your conduct with others as you cannot have double standards when it comes to...

I know it's an old cliche but you have to be able to love and trust yourself first. When you can do this then you will know that you will always be able to rely upon yourself to get through anything and you will take responsibility for your own life and happiness therefore you don't have to take any unnecessary risks to invest all your love and trust in another to make you happy. Being able to trust yourself and your ability to make the important decisions in life that are right for you will mean that you will not have any need to trust or rely upon others with the big things in life which will make it less scary because you will only be willing to and need to trust them with the little things initially that will not have a major impact on you should they prove to be untrustworthy as you will have managed damage limitation and know not to trust them again with no real harm done. Those that prove they are worthy of your trust and love you will be able to give further...