How well do you really know yourself? What's your life story?
Now I would have read this title and only gone on to read further to object to it once upon a time.
I have made it my mission in life to know, understand, accept and improve who I am! So yes, of course I know who I am....
However there have been times in my life when I was certain I knew who I was, only to be given a reality check that undermined my perception of self and for the better may I say, opened my eyes to another level of self awareness, shifting my mindset to be open to other opportunities that may totally blow me away.
Although these occasions are rare for those of us who really do think we know all there is to know about ourselves.
Those times I have learned that I can always learn more do serve as a reminder for me to take time out every now and then to check in with myself and take stock of what's really going on with me. (How I do this, I will write about at a later date).
One of the most powerful exercises in understanding who I am was by writing about my life. Not my entire life which now would be twice as long as 'War and Peace' but a preci of approx 2000 words (a few pages of A4).
I was in a rehab clinic at the time but don't let that cloud your judgement to the value of the exercise!
The scope given was to write about your life honestly for no one but yourself in the knowledge that you were in a safe environment to offload your deepest and darkest secrets, sins and true self.
Starting with your family background such as where you came from and lived, your parents and siblings and your thoughts and feelings about them at the time and any changes of opinion you have had over the years.
Your childhood and your most vivid memories and how you felt.
Significant milestones or events in life both good and bad and your dreams and disappointment.
Friends, foes and those that have been important or had influence in your life.
Achievements and failures.
Moments of sadness, happiness, shame, regret, anger, resentment, fear or pride.
Highlights and lowlights.
Your beliefs and how you see yourself and how you feel others see you....
The key being to start writing and keep writing whatever the trip down memory lane brings up. Not applying any filters, censors or question the relevance of your memories and let it flow.
Once written, to read it back once without editing it and only adding more, if anything, by way of an addendum at the end as a means of further explanation, not justification.
This was then handed in to your personal counselor with no idea of what the purpose of it was or how it was going to be used but with the assurance that it was confidential and that you would not be judged on it.
A few weeks past without any mention of it, then wham bam.... without warning it was given back to you in group therapy for you to read aloud to all!
Yes if I would have known that was going to happen, I would not have been so bluntly honest!
Once you had read the innermost personal sensitive information of your whole life in full detail to a group of strangers, you were to say nothing and listen to the feedback delivered one by one by the group on what they felt about your life story.. (thankfully noone shouted 'stone her' or tried to tie me to a stake and set light to me!)
Lucky really as I then was able to say something but only on how I felt about their feedback to the story (which was relief mainly for no rocks being hurled) without making any attempt to justify it (which I did not feel the need to do anyway as they were surprisingly empathetic).
Still it was a daunting and humbling experience!
Harsh! Yes! Valuable?
Unbelievably so!
As I read out the true and unedited story of my life, my entire life made sense to me. It was blatantly obvious in fact.
The answers to the who, what and why questions about me, some I had never even asked, were there hiding in plain view all the time but until I actually put the pieces together and completed the puzzle, my life which I knew all of the parts of well had been a whole lot of seperate chapters of events that I had never seen as a full set and complete manual of my life.
It gave me (and the people in my group therapy) a complete profile of traits, themes and default patterns and behaviours that I could improve or avoid, even foresee the behaviours and actions I tended to follow that would lead me right into these situations.
A self awareness of not just who I was but one where I could predict what would happen next and if I was not going to like that destination, how to divert my life to a more rewarding place!
I would thoroughly recommend that you take the time to do this exercise.
If you are a person who is certain you already know all there is to know about you then why not do it anyway as a way of absolute confirmation.
I would also recommend those of you trying to understand who you are or looking for a deeper sense of self should give it a go as what have you got to lose?
Those of you who are not interested in wanting to know or understand yourselves better due to fear, then remember you can't hide from yourself. You are who you are and never apologise for that!
This can be done at home with the total assurance that noone but you will never know unless you share it.
No expensive rehab clinic required!
Just follow my prompts above, stick it in an envelope or a secure place and forget about it for a week or so then read it again outloud as if it was the story of someone else's life and ask yourself;
1) How do feel about the person and their life?
2) Do you think you have a good idea of this person's nature and behaviours
3) Do you see the reasons why they are as they are and any reoccurring themes
4) What would be your honest answer if this person was looking to you for help, guidance and understanding of the patterns in life that may not be useful to keep doing and how they could do it differently
(if you feel you are not qualified to give this help, who would you suggest that could help them be it a friend or professional).
5) Do you like this person?
I hope the answer to the last question is YES!
As an added benefit, it has been scientifically proven that writing about your life is therapeutic and of great value to heal and let go of pain. It has been known to reduce stress and depression as well as loneliness!
Please do let me know how it was for you...
I have made it my mission in life to know, understand, accept and improve who I am! So yes, of course I know who I am....
However there have been times in my life when I was certain I knew who I was, only to be given a reality check that undermined my perception of self and for the better may I say, opened my eyes to another level of self awareness, shifting my mindset to be open to other opportunities that may totally blow me away.
Although these occasions are rare for those of us who really do think we know all there is to know about ourselves.
Those times I have learned that I can always learn more do serve as a reminder for me to take time out every now and then to check in with myself and take stock of what's really going on with me. (How I do this, I will write about at a later date).
One of the most powerful exercises in understanding who I am was by writing about my life. Not my entire life which now would be twice as long as 'War and Peace' but a preci of approx 2000 words (a few pages of A4).
I was in a rehab clinic at the time but don't let that cloud your judgement to the value of the exercise!
The scope given was to write about your life honestly for no one but yourself in the knowledge that you were in a safe environment to offload your deepest and darkest secrets, sins and true self.
Starting with your family background such as where you came from and lived, your parents and siblings and your thoughts and feelings about them at the time and any changes of opinion you have had over the years.
Your childhood and your most vivid memories and how you felt.
Significant milestones or events in life both good and bad and your dreams and disappointment.
Friends, foes and those that have been important or had influence in your life.
Achievements and failures.
Moments of sadness, happiness, shame, regret, anger, resentment, fear or pride.
Highlights and lowlights.
Your beliefs and how you see yourself and how you feel others see you....
The key being to start writing and keep writing whatever the trip down memory lane brings up. Not applying any filters, censors or question the relevance of your memories and let it flow.
Once written, to read it back once without editing it and only adding more, if anything, by way of an addendum at the end as a means of further explanation, not justification.
This was then handed in to your personal counselor with no idea of what the purpose of it was or how it was going to be used but with the assurance that it was confidential and that you would not be judged on it.
A few weeks past without any mention of it, then wham bam.... without warning it was given back to you in group therapy for you to read aloud to all!
Yes if I would have known that was going to happen, I would not have been so bluntly honest!
Once you had read the innermost personal sensitive information of your whole life in full detail to a group of strangers, you were to say nothing and listen to the feedback delivered one by one by the group on what they felt about your life story.. (thankfully noone shouted 'stone her' or tried to tie me to a stake and set light to me!)
Lucky really as I then was able to say something but only on how I felt about their feedback to the story (which was relief mainly for no rocks being hurled) without making any attempt to justify it (which I did not feel the need to do anyway as they were surprisingly empathetic).
Still it was a daunting and humbling experience!
Harsh! Yes! Valuable?
Unbelievably so!
As I read out the true and unedited story of my life, my entire life made sense to me. It was blatantly obvious in fact.
The answers to the who, what and why questions about me, some I had never even asked, were there hiding in plain view all the time but until I actually put the pieces together and completed the puzzle, my life which I knew all of the parts of well had been a whole lot of seperate chapters of events that I had never seen as a full set and complete manual of my life.
It gave me (and the people in my group therapy) a complete profile of traits, themes and default patterns and behaviours that I could improve or avoid, even foresee the behaviours and actions I tended to follow that would lead me right into these situations.
A self awareness of not just who I was but one where I could predict what would happen next and if I was not going to like that destination, how to divert my life to a more rewarding place!
I would thoroughly recommend that you take the time to do this exercise.
If you are a person who is certain you already know all there is to know about you then why not do it anyway as a way of absolute confirmation.
I would also recommend those of you trying to understand who you are or looking for a deeper sense of self should give it a go as what have you got to lose?
Those of you who are not interested in wanting to know or understand yourselves better due to fear, then remember you can't hide from yourself. You are who you are and never apologise for that!
This can be done at home with the total assurance that noone but you will never know unless you share it.
No expensive rehab clinic required!
Just follow my prompts above, stick it in an envelope or a secure place and forget about it for a week or so then read it again outloud as if it was the story of someone else's life and ask yourself;
1) How do feel about the person and their life?
2) Do you think you have a good idea of this person's nature and behaviours
3) Do you see the reasons why they are as they are and any reoccurring themes
4) What would be your honest answer if this person was looking to you for help, guidance and understanding of the patterns in life that may not be useful to keep doing and how they could do it differently
(if you feel you are not qualified to give this help, who would you suggest that could help them be it a friend or professional).
5) Do you like this person?
I hope the answer to the last question is YES!
As an added benefit, it has been scientifically proven that writing about your life is therapeutic and of great value to heal and let go of pain. It has been known to reduce stress and depression as well as loneliness!
Please do let me know how it was for you...
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