Judging me? No judging you!

Over the years I have learned  a lot about people and how you can see who they really are!

Many people are not what they claim to be especially those that have to constantly make statements claiming they are who they  say they are, which says to me, that's not what you are!

'What you see is what you get!'
'I'm straight up!'
'I say it as it is!' 'You can trust me, I'm honest!'

You know the type!

It's the first thing they tell you on meeting them... by the  third, fourth fifth time you can be sure that you will definitely remember them for it but it has the reverse effect and by the end of your first encounter, the doubts have crept in as to their sincerity as if they really are as they keep claiming to be then why do they feel the need to convince me of it!

May be  because they are not completely convinced of it themself!

The best way by far I have found to get the real measure of a person's character is by  how they perceive and judge others and by the conclusions they draw on events and circumstances in life they have either experienced first hand or by what opinion they have on those situations when others  encounter them.

The saying 'dont judge me by your own standards' we are all familiar with.

Usually used when one is accused of being or doing something that is negative said in retaliation of the accusations from one that are unjustified.

The accuser who has drawn the wrong/worse conclusion therefore has  done so for no other reason  but their own biased  opinion based on this being the most likely action they would take in the given scenario.

The fact is that people tend to only be capable of drawing conclusions to a set of circumstances that is based on their own interpretation based on experience of what they have done, do or would do or the person  they are or have been previously.

Your expectations can be either too high or too low of any given scenario or person but it will be based on the expectations you have of yourself.

Of course there are those
who may have been hurt before by misjudging a situation in which they had given the benefit of doubt believing in those would act in accordance of the expectations they have of their own behavior only to be taught are harsh lesson that the reality is not all are like them.

Vowing  not to be so quick to make the same mistake again if a similar situation should occur.

Being burned before may initially cause one to jump to the wrong conclusion or cloud their judgement however if there is a perfectly plausible explanation or even a small element of doubt in there being another reason then most will gladly accept it.

Its human nature to not want to believe that those you care about would do something to hurt you even if you had been hurt before.

Those people however that refuse to even acknowledge the possibility of a plausible alternative explanation showing no interest in even hearing others out and quick to make allegations and jump to the worst conclusion that stinks of underhandness, deceit and lowest kind of behavior being likely in another, is a certainty to me of just how low they would go to have made  their judgement with no problem whatsoever coming to terms with it as most probable despite it being a pretty poor reflection on human nature but they are not shocked or appalled by it and happy to accuse others of it.

In fact when  it's perceived as the norm and not extreme to accuse others of such terrible  behavior, it must be based on familiarity and knowledge of this low level of conduct for sure and what is possible in their own behaviour or has been their behaviour in such circumstances to be able to conceive it as more than possible so easily.

Thankfully
this is also the case for those who perceive positive standards as very likely to be present in others.

Those who are genuinely honest believe others are to.

Far less likely  to make accusations or allegations of negative behavior and the have the ability to be emphatic about the situation and awareness of the best outcome in resolving the issue amicably.

Those that are trustworthy trust that others can be trusted and will always give the benefit of doubt when trust is tested by an action that casts doubt on that persons integrity.

Even when trust has been broken the trustworthy will want to give the opportunity to earn their trust again and welcome geniune attempts to make amends.

Honest people dont expect others to lie to them so take people at their word with the only motive to ask further questions being out of interest or for a better understanding.  Honest people dont tend to think that you may not realise they are honest and that it is something they have to tell you!

However those who are suspicious of your integrity or question your honesty and are always looking to catch others out and expose them as a liar without probable cause do so because they know they lie and get away with it as noone has questioned their integrity.

I have found you can spot those who gossip and talk about people behind their back as they are constantly worried about what others think about them and will ask you constantly  about how they are perceived by others and even suggest what they presume people must be saying behind their back about what ever situation no matter how trivial they have in their life. When in reality it's not anything I am actually interested to hear from them when they tell me let alone go on to repeat it to anyone else.

It goes without saying that anyone who has the desire to tell you what they know about others or what they have heard, you can guarantee that they are also telling anyone who will listen about what they know about you and will repeat everything you tell them.