The phrases and sayings that are just bollocks
We have all heard them! The wise words and general sayings such as these for example;
'A leopard cant change his spots'!
'People dont change'!
'Never trust a skinny chef'! 'Never trust a man that doesnt drink'! 'Money doesnt make you happy'!
'Nice guys finish last'! 'Treat them mean keep them keen'!
'You can tell alot about a man by his shoes'!
'Never go to sleep on an argument'!
These statements are no doubt just a few of the endless phrases you have heard before and like me, probably kept in mind and may have even passed on!
Over my life time I have heard and believed a great many of these types of sweeping statements. I have even used them as a marker to guide me through life or explain away the behaviour of others on occasion.
Yes, even seeing a skinny chef has been a momentary worry for me at times and have found myself hoping that there is another fat one in the kitchen!
Brought up in a single parent family on a council estate meant that I was conditioned by a whole set of standardised words of wisdom for 'our kind' in society (the lower class although some would protest to being middle class by virtue of it being a council estate in Harpenden and not Luton or Hemel).
These gems of wisdom coming from those I looked up to and had influence over my life!
These were designed to be limiting so I would not have ideas above my station or any illusion as to my options and were meant by way of protection to save me from disappointment should I expect too much in life....
Afterall the poor stay poor and the rich get richer!
College and University were not an option due to money restraints, with the general view anyway being that only rich children went on to further education therefore I would not fit in or ever be accepted anyway even if I got into a profession due to my background.
Obviously this view is no longer as wide spread as it was in my day and its not uncommon now for the majority of teens from underprivileged communities to continue with their education and become very successful.
As it happens, I went on to obtain my degree as well as many other professional qualifications later on in life with support and sponsorship by various employers and have always fitted in.
As for having money, its never made me unhappy and has certainly been a means enabling me to experience the many amazing wonders of life all over the world and given me access to a vast and varied amount of opportunities and options that have provided my life with an abundance of incredibly happy times.
Still to this day though, I have not managed to get much understanding of a person from their shoes. I have found that you can find out much more by just asking the person what you want to know.
As for those people in life who have treated me meanly, I cut them out at the first opportunity, having a preference for the nicer guys personally!
The point being that we can be limited by the cultural beliefs and myths put on us if we choose to accept them as gospel without even challenging them.
I can tell you that I have also found that calling time out on an argument and going to sleep is far more likely to diffuse the situation than staying up half the night arguing that continues the next day unnecessarily for lack of sleep making both sides far less likely to be amenable to a resolution!
It is true however that a leopard can't change it spots but a leopard is very capable at changing and adapting its methods to survive in a changing environment by modifying the usual pattern in habits expected of a leopard when they no longer serve purpose as a means of survival.
Everything is constantly changing in and around us. This includes the views and beliefs that are held by many so do not let your life be limited by a set of beliefs imposed on you by society, culture or your environment as like the many before them, these too will all change in time!
That is also true of the many things that are said to be impossible and may seem impossible for now.
I still dont get how its possible for an ocean liner the length of 3 football pitches and the width of 1, with 6,000 passengers and 2,000 crew members to stay afloat in the sea but nevertheless it can and does and without ever questioning how, millions of people know with certainty this is possible no matter how impossible it may seem.
Roger Bannister back in 1954 did the impossible and ran a mile under 4 mins which was seen as scientifically impossible and beyond human capacity beforehand and since then has been achieved by many more with the current record being 3.43.
Most of the time I am a believer that anything is possible no matter what your background or what your current situation is. That is when I am not caught up in the myths that I default back to when fear creeps in.
The key is knowing what it is you really want without all those limitations you have consciously and unconsciously allowed to block the possibilities.
One way of working out what you really want is by asking yourself this;
If you knew that you could not fail and was given a guarantee that you would achieve success in the one thing you desired and wanted most from life, what would that be?
By the way, if by doing this you find you have more than one thing as an option then even better!
Dare to dream!
'A leopard cant change his spots'!
'People dont change'!
'Never trust a skinny chef'! 'Never trust a man that doesnt drink'! 'Money doesnt make you happy'!
'Nice guys finish last'! 'Treat them mean keep them keen'!
'You can tell alot about a man by his shoes'!
'Never go to sleep on an argument'!
These statements are no doubt just a few of the endless phrases you have heard before and like me, probably kept in mind and may have even passed on!
Over my life time I have heard and believed a great many of these types of sweeping statements. I have even used them as a marker to guide me through life or explain away the behaviour of others on occasion.
Yes, even seeing a skinny chef has been a momentary worry for me at times and have found myself hoping that there is another fat one in the kitchen!
Brought up in a single parent family on a council estate meant that I was conditioned by a whole set of standardised words of wisdom for 'our kind' in society (the lower class although some would protest to being middle class by virtue of it being a council estate in Harpenden and not Luton or Hemel).
These gems of wisdom coming from those I looked up to and had influence over my life!
These were designed to be limiting so I would not have ideas above my station or any illusion as to my options and were meant by way of protection to save me from disappointment should I expect too much in life....
Afterall the poor stay poor and the rich get richer!
College and University were not an option due to money restraints, with the general view anyway being that only rich children went on to further education therefore I would not fit in or ever be accepted anyway even if I got into a profession due to my background.
Obviously this view is no longer as wide spread as it was in my day and its not uncommon now for the majority of teens from underprivileged communities to continue with their education and become very successful.
As it happens, I went on to obtain my degree as well as many other professional qualifications later on in life with support and sponsorship by various employers and have always fitted in.
As for having money, its never made me unhappy and has certainly been a means enabling me to experience the many amazing wonders of life all over the world and given me access to a vast and varied amount of opportunities and options that have provided my life with an abundance of incredibly happy times.
Still to this day though, I have not managed to get much understanding of a person from their shoes. I have found that you can find out much more by just asking the person what you want to know.
As for those people in life who have treated me meanly, I cut them out at the first opportunity, having a preference for the nicer guys personally!
The point being that we can be limited by the cultural beliefs and myths put on us if we choose to accept them as gospel without even challenging them.
I can tell you that I have also found that calling time out on an argument and going to sleep is far more likely to diffuse the situation than staying up half the night arguing that continues the next day unnecessarily for lack of sleep making both sides far less likely to be amenable to a resolution!
It is true however that a leopard can't change it spots but a leopard is very capable at changing and adapting its methods to survive in a changing environment by modifying the usual pattern in habits expected of a leopard when they no longer serve purpose as a means of survival.
Everything is constantly changing in and around us. This includes the views and beliefs that are held by many so do not let your life be limited by a set of beliefs imposed on you by society, culture or your environment as like the many before them, these too will all change in time!
That is also true of the many things that are said to be impossible and may seem impossible for now.
I still dont get how its possible for an ocean liner the length of 3 football pitches and the width of 1, with 6,000 passengers and 2,000 crew members to stay afloat in the sea but nevertheless it can and does and without ever questioning how, millions of people know with certainty this is possible no matter how impossible it may seem.
Roger Bannister back in 1954 did the impossible and ran a mile under 4 mins which was seen as scientifically impossible and beyond human capacity beforehand and since then has been achieved by many more with the current record being 3.43.
Most of the time I am a believer that anything is possible no matter what your background or what your current situation is. That is when I am not caught up in the myths that I default back to when fear creeps in.
The key is knowing what it is you really want without all those limitations you have consciously and unconsciously allowed to block the possibilities.
One way of working out what you really want is by asking yourself this;
If you knew that you could not fail and was given a guarantee that you would achieve success in the one thing you desired and wanted most from life, what would that be?
By the way, if by doing this you find you have more than one thing as an option then even better!
Dare to dream!
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