Toxic friends! Just get rid!
Why is it that most people tend to measure the importance of a friendship by the amount of time they have known that person?
I have heard people say so many times that he/she is one of my best mates as I have known him/her all my life or since school or that we grew up together with this being pretty much all that is important for having them as a friend regardless of the quality of that friendship!
Personally I think that it is not a good thing to still have the same friends who are friends just because you have known them a long time, especially when you have not built up any other friendships from childhood to now that you see as just as important or even more important to you in adulthood than those people you met perhaps 10, 20 or even more years since you were at school with or grew up with!
What I am getting at is that you can not be the same person you was as a child and unless you and these friends have all grown and developed in the same way which is unlikely then I would suggest that something is very wrong if you haven't forged new friendships in those years that reflect the person you have become and the individuality you have in what interests and core values you have developed to show you have grown as a person as the years go by.
I am sure on the odd occasions that it is possible for a friendship made in childhood to still exist throughout your lifetime and be of true value but I think its rare!
Friends are indeed of value and it is well documented that friends are beneficial to your health but only true friends who by definition are healthy for you, in a way that they are supportive and enhance your life giving you a sense of belonging and not simply adding to your problems and stress in a higher dosage from the joy they bring!
This doesn't make it ok just because you have known them for a long time!
Sometimes its a good thing to lose the dead wood especially when your only reason for remaining friends is down to the length of time you have known them!
In my life friends come and go and I don't now have any close friends left from my childhood or school days but I do not see that as a problem. I see it as a measure of how much I have grown in life and of my life being ever evolving and taking me to new places and meeting new people that I can connect with at that stage of my life and I am certain that in the years to come friends will continue to come and go!
Nostalgia is not a reason to have friends that are serving you no purpose!
Not only does it cause you unnecessary problems, having these people in your life are taking up space that other people that could be so much better for you to befriend should have!
Personally I would prefer to be alone than unhappy with people in my life who just bring me down and I have no problem whatsoever cutting people out and moving on without any hesitation or feeling any long term regret or remorse!
In fact I usually feel better for it!
I have heard people say so many times that he/she is one of my best mates as I have known him/her all my life or since school or that we grew up together with this being pretty much all that is important for having them as a friend regardless of the quality of that friendship!
Personally I think that it is not a good thing to still have the same friends who are friends just because you have known them a long time, especially when you have not built up any other friendships from childhood to now that you see as just as important or even more important to you in adulthood than those people you met perhaps 10, 20 or even more years since you were at school with or grew up with!
What I am getting at is that you can not be the same person you was as a child and unless you and these friends have all grown and developed in the same way which is unlikely then I would suggest that something is very wrong if you haven't forged new friendships in those years that reflect the person you have become and the individuality you have in what interests and core values you have developed to show you have grown as a person as the years go by.
I am sure on the odd occasions that it is possible for a friendship made in childhood to still exist throughout your lifetime and be of true value but I think its rare!
Friends are indeed of value and it is well documented that friends are beneficial to your health but only true friends who by definition are healthy for you, in a way that they are supportive and enhance your life giving you a sense of belonging and not simply adding to your problems and stress in a higher dosage from the joy they bring!
This doesn't make it ok just because you have known them for a long time!
Sometimes its a good thing to lose the dead wood especially when your only reason for remaining friends is down to the length of time you have known them!
In my life friends come and go and I don't now have any close friends left from my childhood or school days but I do not see that as a problem. I see it as a measure of how much I have grown in life and of my life being ever evolving and taking me to new places and meeting new people that I can connect with at that stage of my life and I am certain that in the years to come friends will continue to come and go!
Nostalgia is not a reason to have friends that are serving you no purpose!
Not only does it cause you unnecessary problems, having these people in your life are taking up space that other people that could be so much better for you to befriend should have!
Personally I would prefer to be alone than unhappy with people in my life who just bring me down and I have no problem whatsoever cutting people out and moving on without any hesitation or feeling any long term regret or remorse!
In fact I usually feel better for it!
Comments
Post a Comment
All comments are appreciated both positive and negative feedback are of great value... thanks for taking your time to comment