Getting past hurt and pain

The only way you can get over something that has caused you pain and hurt you is by processing it and coming to terms with it so you can move on whether you do this yourself or with the help of a professional. Sadly there is not a fast forward button to press in life that will take you past it all but you will move forward from it faster if you face it head on and deal with it. Many people make the mistake of trying to avoid dealing with it and think that if they put it out of their mind or distract themselves for long enough then it will go away but it wont and unless you resolve your feelings and emotions attached to it then it will never go away and will keep bubbling up inside you until it is resolved and this can cause detriment to your mental and physical wellbeing. You have already survived it and so to process it in a safe place in order to heal from it is not going to harm you and although you may feel uncomfortable at times to revisit it, you have to face it and process it for the greater good of yourself. What works for me is to write down everything that has happened, how I feel about it and I start this by writing down everything that is going around in my mind as it comes up without trying to make sense of it or filter it or give it meaning at this stage and I just write and write until it stops flowing. Once it's all out of my head and on paper, I usually feel like a weight has been lifted and it frees up my mind so that I am able to think more clearly and I am no longer consumed by it all. I usually then will read it all back at a point later on without trying to attach any emotions to it and as if it is someone elses story and I often find that it starts to make more sense and I am able to see the whole picture as it's there in black and white and this makes your brain look at it more objectively from a solutions point of view which means eventually I can accept it as it will have lost its power. You have to be kind to yourself and nurture yourself until you have healed from it which you will do in time. Remind yourself that everything passes in time and that life doesn't throw anything at you that you are not fully equipped to deal with.